The Non-GMO GMO?

The com­pany asserts that the new prod­uct— called GMO-No-Mo—will revert the genet­i­cally altered corn to vir­tu­ally sim­u­late its pre­vi­ous unal­tered state. There will be no detectable dif­fer­ence between GMO-No-Mo and the non-GMO vari­eties that are grown in neigh­bor­ing fields.

“Of course, there never was any such dif­fer­ence,” Phlegm con­tin­ued. “Genes occur nat­u­rally in nature, and there is a neg­li­gi­ble devi­a­tion between GMO and non-GMO corn, and even organic corn. So, in essence, this new strain—while the prod­uct of mil­lions in research, and even more mil­lions in pay­ments to lobbyists—is a sci­en­tific rever­sal of traits that pre­sented no issue in the first place.”

According to data avail­able on the corporation’s web­site, GMO-No-Mo corn will be exclu­sively avail­able through FoodGen, along with the company’s exten­sive line of her­bi­cides, pes­ti­cides and chem­i­cal fer­til­iz­ers. It is expected, since the GMO trait of pes­ti­cide resis­tance has now been coun­tered in the new vari­ety, that greatly increased doses of pes­ti­cides will be required.

Opponents to the new strain have expressed seri­ous concerns—including the fact that, in the fine print within the GMO-No-Mo prod­uct infor­ma­tion, it is stated that any non-GMO corn grow­ing in adja­cent or nearby fields will be sub­ject to patent vio­la­tion lawsuits.

Phlegm con­firmed this con­cern, claim­ing, “Because GMO-No-Mo is tech­ni­cally non-GMO corn, it can be legally assumed that any other non-GMO corn being grown within a hundred-mile radius actu­ally vio­lates our patent.”

FDA approval for GMO-No-Mo is expected to be delayed due to pub­lic protest and the actions of public-interest groups and real-food activists.

“This is totally ridicu­lous,” said Ken Whitman, pub­lisher of Organic Connections, and him­self a renowned food activist. “If I didn’t know bet­ter, I’d think this was an April Fools’ gag.”